Oh blog world...support if you will!?!
How many of you have boys?
How many of you have very active boys?
How many of you have very active boys that do not do well with kids that are their own age or younger?
How many of you have very active boys that do not do well with kids that are their own age or younger...AND especially girls?????
Yesterday, started off like any over exciting day... We all got ready, checked everything off the list, and packed up the car to be gone for the day. Our first stop...a 2nd birthday for sweet little Addison.
My son spent the whole car ride going "Happy Birthday candles!" "Happy Birthday, Addy!" I was excited for him, because he's starting to remember his friends and gets excited when we go to certain places (Pap Bob's House, Bungie's House, Rissy's House, O-Libia's House, and now Addy's).
I, on the other hand, start to get nervous. My son is now two and half and he just gets too excited when we are with other kids! Which is fine when we are places like, at the house of the kids that I nanny for, because they range from 7-12, so he can be a little rough on them or fight over toys and not really hurt them and they understand not to hurt him. The problem is when are with kids that are his age or younger, he is just WAY TOO ROUGH! Forget the fact that he doesn't like to share (that's normal for the age), but he will literally run up to, even the youngest kid, and just take whatever they are playing with. For whatever reason (something in the water that year or just my bad luck) it always seems to happen with little girls. My son takes their toy (sometimes a little roughly), runs away, and the girl if left shocked and crying her eyes out!
When we are out at playdates, I feel like he's just this big bully. I hate that!
So, yesterday, we're at this birthday party and it starts off with just us and another little 18 month old guest. When she starts playing with a ball that my son wants, he runs up and takes it from her. This little girl had her very sweet Grandmother by her side, who suggested that they move to another area and play. I let the first one go, because so many people say that this is "just the age, don't worry about it". Then, I took my son aside and told him that we were playing with kids that were smaller than him and he needed to be a nice boy, share, and be a good listener to Mommy and Daddy. I was hoping that by giving him my expectations he would have a better idea of what to expect.
He was okay for about 5 minutes before he basically bypassed this little cuties grandma and jumped into the ball put with the 18 month old. I looked over and saw grandma trying to get the little girl out and Matthew just creating ciaos! I got him out and we took a trip to time out, but time out is very tricky when you are not at home...and just doesn't seem like it works anywhere near as well. I hoped it would have some effect though. It didn't....
A little while later, my husband was "taking charge" and trying to keep my son and the birthday girl happy with a little game of basketball or something. I saw my kiddo take a ball and the next thing I knew, the birthday girl was bawling her eyes out! Hubby said that they bumped heads. While I checked out the birthday girl, my son, who did not shed a tear, was back on the slide and playing like nothing happened.
OKAY...so that's probably the first 30-45 minutes of the party and we were there for two hours. But you get the idea of how the playing went.
The icing on the cake came about 15 minutes before we had to leave. My son had jumped into the ball pit and knocked it over from the inside. Ball EVERYWHERE...enter Host Mom and a look like..."AHHH! Who invited this kid!" I took Matthew out to time out again and told him that he needed to help me clean up the balls, which he did. But I looked around at that point and realized that all of the little messes around the room had come from my son! I had watched him pull out just about every box or bin or toys that he could and it WAS a mess! So, I decided that it was time for me to do a quick clean up....plus I needed a minute to regather my myself, because I was just starting to lose my mind!
While my family was all cleaning, the rest of the guests were singing Happy Birthday. We managed to get ourselves almost in vision of the cake right before the last line of Happy Birthday. After that, I went back to cleaning and took my little guy with him.
He was fine for a little while, and I saw his Daddy chatting with one of his pals. When my son ran out of the room, I was too worried, because he'd been doing donuts around their kitchen and back into playroom most of the morning and my husband was camped out in the kitchen. However, when a couple minutes passed and I did not see my son, I knew he was into trouble.
I ran out of the playroom and went for the cake. There was the birthday girl getting pictures and trying out her birthday cake...and my child with his hands all up in her business...eating the icing off of her bears. I grabbed him by the hands and took him out of the room and handed him to my husband...
Then I lost it! I don't know it was my pregnancy hormones or the feeling like "My son is uncontrollable!", but the waterworks opened up and I just couldn't stop! I ended up just sitting by a window for about five minutes thinking: "What is wrong with my mothering?", "What if my son just isn't a normal boy?", "What's going to happen when we have a new baby in the house!?", "How can this kid play so well at home, but act like this every time we are out?", "Why does he want to destroy EVERYTHING!", and "What the HELL did I do to deserve a child that acts like this?!".
I sat there for a while, just trying to pull myself together, but the tears just wouldn't stop. When they finally did, all I wanted to do was go. I was tired. No, I was exhausted! My intense emotions had just exhausted me.
Moms of boys, have you been there? I wonder if we just had more boys to play with, maybe I wouldn't fine my son to be so terrible with them, but constantly having girls around to compare him to makes me feel like just staying home.
Moms of boys, what do I do?