Slacking off a bit....but with good reason!

I've been away from my blog more than I have in a long time in recent weeks. I haven't been doing as many really fun and interesting things with my toddler lately. Do I feel guilty about that? OH YEAH! Did I expect this? OH YEAH!

About two months ago, my husband and I had a conversation about having another child. At the time, I thought that the biggest reason that we had for wanting to wait a little longer was our finances. We are getting by on what my husband makes at his job and what I make as a part time nanny pays for a couple things and gives us some extra spending money. In the end, there's not a TON leftover, but there is some!

I guess my main reason for revisiting this conversation had to do with the fact that we were just weeks away from paying off our car loan and one of my student loans. Those two bills would give us an extra $420 a month! I think that knowing that there was going to be this huge chuck of money that would not longer get eaten each month, made me think that we could be okay.

This conversation with my husband literally lasted all day! Primarily because we were not on the same page. While I thought we were waiting because of finances he said the felt that with us paying down those loans and the fact that he was making more money at work, he thought we were really good. So, I asked him what was keeping us from having more children? He said, "Well, things are just getting easy. Matthew is getting more independent each day and it is making it easier for us to find time to enjoy ourselves again. I'm just not really sure that I'm ready to give that up already."

*************Picking up Mouth from off the FLOOR!*****************************

Are you kidding me?! So I looked at him and asked if he still wanted more children. He said "Yes." I asked if he still wanted four children (his idea, not mine!), and he laughed.

The conversation that I thought we were going to have and the conversation that we DID have were totally different! I really expected him to basically cut me off and say "Not yet!" Instead, after talking for an hour, he said "You know, we really should try to have another one. I know that I don't want our lives to change from what they are right now, but I want a family more than that." (Mouth dropping again!)

After we were both on the same page, we decided that we were going to wait a couple days and see if we still felt the same way. We also discussed things that we thought we wanted to change with our second one. Things like, if I would work or not, where the kids would sleep (we have another room, but we talked a lot about having them share a room just because), and what our expectation are for each other.

This was actually one of the best conversations I've ever had with my husband.

After we were sure that we both wanted to start trying, I started in on the pregnancy math. I found out that I would be ovulating over Valentine weekend, so we made plans to have our son visit over at grandmas house. Got home and confirmed ovulation with a test. All systems were go!

Almost immediately after, I was buying pregnancy tests. I think I was able to get myself to wait an entire 4 days before the first test! After that, I was taking them about every other day. It became such an obsession!

On February 23rd, I took an Early Response test. These ones are supposed to tell you 6 days before your missed period if you are pregnant. I was due for my period in about 4. I took the test and waited. Nothing.....more nothing....then more nothing! I was feeling really annoyed! Then, I noticed that if I turned the test into the light there seemed to be something there. Not that it was a pink line, but where the rest of the test seemed to glare off the plastic, this part did not. I thought I finally had a sign that we were pregnant! I got really excited, but knew I had to wait a couple days and then check again.

Friday morning finally came and I took a test...no question! It was definitely positive!

Since then, I have been waiting and waiting for a baby doctor's appointment. I finally went yesterday. It was a long appointment for not really doing much of anything! They talked to me about being pregnant, did the urine test, did the mini physical, and did a pelvic exam to see how big my uterus was. She said that my uterus looked like a 6 week uterus. That was about it.

Now, I have another 4 week wait until I go back. The next time, we will be doing bloodwork, taking in a baseline 24 hour urine, first ultrasound, and meeting with the doctor. It seems like it will be a long appointment.

As for me, I've been soooooooo very tired! In both of my past pregnancies, I was teaching first graders all day while going through this part. I can remember going to work at about 7am, teaching until the kids left, then staying to set up the next day, writing lesson plans, going to meetings, having parent-teacher conferences, finally getting home at about 5 or 6pm and just sitting outside my apartment in the car. I would put my head on the steering wheel and think about how much work it would be to go up the steps. When I finally got inside, sleep was always more important than food. I would most often skip dinner and be asleep by 6:30pm. Then, I'd wake up around midnight, starving and feeling sick. Sometimes I could get myself to eat, but usually not! I'm end up staying up until about 5am. Then, after I'd finally gotten to sleep, it would be time to get up and get ready for work.

This time is so different! I don't know how I did it before! Taking a 1pm siesta seems to be key for me! I can make it through the day and even sleep normal hours at night if I just take a nap when Matthew does.

I'm also really cranky! I can remember being like this with my students. It was just like I had no patience for anything that I would have normally found to be funny. I'm there again with my son and my husband. Oh my poor family!!! Why does Mommy have to be so grumpy!

So, I'm due November 4th, but last time they didn't want to let me go past 39 weeks so I was induced a week early. I'm expecting that to be true again, so I'm thinking we're having a Halloween baby! My mom gave me a gender test yesterday and it showed that I'm having a boy. A boy would be nice! I love the idea of putting them in matching clothes and being able to reuse everything! However, I'm still stuck on wanting a girl for her wedding day and when the grand babies come. So, I guess we'll just be happy with whatever it is this time!

weight: +4 pounds since gyno appoint Feb 9th

cravings: everything at some point, mostly carbs!

belly: doesn't seem to be there, but jeans don't fit! Luckily had size 18s from before I was pregnant with Matthew...working those for now.

gender prediction and why?: Boy, because Mom's gender test says so and everything feels the same as it did with both boy pregnancies from before.

fears: What if it's twins? Am I giving Matthew enough attention? Am I giving my husband enough attention? Why did the stupid doctor person keep saying "Wait to see if this a viable pregnancy". Should I be worried? Is this this worst of my morning sickness and exhaustion or will it get worse?

Things that are still undecided: Will the newly remodeled bedroom be a new bedroom for Matthew, the baby, or go back to being a craft room/guest bedroom. Names! We have no names this time.