Sunday, March 20, 2011

Just over 7 weeks....

When I was pregnant with Matthew, I took the time to journal the entire thing. I wrote something down on my computer just about every day in the beginning. Then, it got to be a couple times each week toward the end. I used some of my journaling in the scrapbook that I started while I was pregnant with him. Sadly, I did not finish the scrapbook and it ends right before my baby shower. What a bummer! I need to put it on my list as something to finish before baby #2 comes along.

In the meantime, I am going to do the same type of journaling on my blog. I hope that you all will find it interesting, funny, and endearing.

Today is March 20th. It is the first day of Spring. Thank goodness, because I am a lover of winter, but right now, I need some sun! My tulips or daffodils (I forget if I planted one or both last year) are starting to poke their noses out from under that ground. Seeing them is like seeing friends that you haven't seen in forever!

I have been feeling sick for over a week now. I have this awful chest and head cold, which might actually be more of sinus issue. Either way, I can't sleep at night because my nose gets all clogged up. I've been getting headaches on and off too and when I'm feeling really stuffed in the head, it makes it really hard to be anywhere that is very well lit.

I keep drinking a lot of liquids and taking whatever medicines I can to help me. This morning, I decided to try out my NetiPot. I was impressed! Although it felt weird, after I did it, I was able to get a huge bunch of junk out of my face! Then, I took my first breath through my nose is over 24 hours! Sadly, that has not lasted all day. By noon, I started feeling clogged again. I hope this goes away soon.

As for my new little bean, last Saturday came and knocked me down hard! I have been so tired that I don't feel like doing anything. I knew this was coming, that's why I made all that food to freeze, but man oh man, this is so much harder with a toddler around. I HAVE to lay down while he naps or else I can't get through the day. I am still going to bed around 8pm, because any later and I feel like crap the next day.

I am grateful that Scott is home in the mornings. As long as I am in bed at 8pm the night before, I can wake up with Matthew at 7am and be ready (sorta) to get him going and keep him busy so Scott can sleep in. By 9:30, I am usually ready to take a nap. At the very least, I need to sit down and take a break. I consider myself a lucky girl if Scott is getting ready to take Matthew out to the YMCA or something around this time.

Twice this week, I sucked it up and took him out myself. On Wednesday, I took him to the YMCA. He went into Childwatch and I sat at a table with my head down trying to just rest with out falling asleep and looking like a moron! On Thursday, we had a Saint Patrick's Day party with our playgroup. It was fun, but I was really exhausted when it was over. I was glad to be able to get Matthew out of the house though. I know he needs the social interaction with other kids and he needs to play outside of our home.

Upstairs, my Dad is still working on the extra bedroom. He has all of the walls drywalled and the ceiling is done! How exciting! I am still trying to decide what that room will be. Will it be Matthew's new room or will it be for the new baby? It could also go back to being a craft/guest/catch all room, but I don't know. I keep thinking that knowing if we are having a boy or girl will make a difference. I think I'd feel more excited about having two boys share the big room and could imagine them with bunk beds at some point. That would be neat!

One think that causes me some almost daily anxiety is not feeling as pregnant as I did in the past. I can remember feeling sick to my stomach both times before. I didn't want to eat anything. I was tired all day and begging to go to bed. This time, I start to feel a little sick and realize that means that it is time for me to get something to eat before I start to feel any more sick. So, I've been eating like it's going out of style! Where normally I would have lost about 5 pounds by now. I have, instead, gained about that much.

There's this big part of me that is expecting to go into the bathroom and have a very devastating moment. I keep praying that everything will be okay, but also telling myself that I can handle whatever happens. I'm still thinking that having that ultrasound at my first appointment would have helped a little. I just wish I knew for sure.

1 comment:

  1. Although I've never experienced a loss, I became obsessed with looking at the TP after I went to the bathroom with both girls. Pregnancy made me a hot mess of anxiety... now I worry all the time about both of them.